Anthem of the Angels

White walls surround us
No light will touch your face again
Rain taps the window
As we sleep among the dead

Days go on forever
But i have not left your side
We can chase the dark together
If you go then so will i

There is nothing left of you
I can see it in your eyes
Sing the anthem of the angels
And say the last goodbye

Cold light above us
Hope fills the heart
And fades away
Skin white as winter
As the sky returns to grey

Days go on forever
But i have not left your side
We can chase the dark together
If you go then so will i

There is nothing left of you
I can see it in your eyes
Sing the anthem of the angels
And say the last goodbye
I keep holding onto you
But i can't bring you back to life
Sing the anthem of the angels
Then say the last goodbye

Your're dead alive

There is nothing left of you
I can see it in your eyes
Sing the anthem of the angels
And say the last goodbye
I keep holding onto you
But i can't bring you back to life
Sing the anthem of the angels
And say the last goodbye


Again the same problem of having much to say but nobody to say it to.

Pest Control

Quick facts:

1. Tanyinghao is working at my mum's office as a temp before he starts studying.
2. I am also working at my mum's office as a temp before sem2 starts.
3. Tanyinghao does a lot of stupid things.

The story begins:

This big babboon decided to use this flimsy paper box of insect bait to block the door and prevent it from closing (and therefore locking us temps without an access pass out of the office FOREVER. Ok fine not forever; at least until the next perm staff opens the door for us.).

And flimsy paper boxes being flimsy paper boxes, it simply got squashed by the weight of the door. Now there is a big pool of brown pellets on the floor near the door.

AND I CAN'T STOP LAUGHING BECAUSE IT'S JUST SO FUNNY. SRSLY WHY DOES YH DO SUCH RETARDED THINGS. xDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

Slow Leak by Ellen Doré Watson

I don’t know how to wish you well.
Your hair is out of control, you are downgraded and strange.
You used to be the man who whopped open his chest,
wandered on a happy shoestring, made a nearly
perfect girl. Times we were electric.
Our talks teased out newness, mixed surprising
pigment. Our battles were not over ground
that mattered, so we walked away from them
with invisible limps, beautiful sticks
with no blood. Thinking ourselves
a perfect fit, we began to forget each other.
The way the roots of a perfect lawn watered too much
get lazy. You thought you should not
have to ask. I thought my private fizzings
and stirrings weightless, but you got sapped.
Your secret began as a scar and turned
to a decision flavored with payback.
The size of my thirst, your silence!
Between us now is the continent we didn’t
finish, and one person’s regret.
Because you have none, this is what I will never
tell you: I took too many days off
from loving you. And: I thought we could both
get larger. And: Neither of us was the right one
to unlock the other’s body. My iron lung
of a father has become soft tissue,
joshing and washing the woman not quite still
my mother—a long tack in a small, hand-made boat.
You and I were so full of beans and promise—
I’m ashamed we failed at forever.

Not Okay

You know


the discouraging thing about sunsets


is that no matter how breath-takingly beautiful and explosive it was,


it will invariably end with darkness.



And then you will be left all alone.

The Hunger

Cut it out, cut it out.
I know it's what you're wanting to say.

Burning up, burning up.
I know why you're feeling this way.

There's an ache you can't erase.
A yearning that you can't replace.

And you want him, and you need him.
But you act like he's not there.
Yeah, you know that you're hollow.
And something's missing here.
So you push and you pull the hole in your soul,
But you can't make the hunger disappear.

You got a rusted out lock on your door,
Getting ready to break.
You've held back love long enough,
I think it's time to cave.

You're waiting for a sign.
The fact is faith is blind.

And you want him, and you need him.
But you act like he's not there.
Yeah, you know that you're hollow.
And something's missing here.
So you push and you pull the hole in your soul,
But you can't make the hunger disappear.

Do you want to spend your whole life jaded?
Stuck in a rut that you created.
Why don't you break the cycle?
Let love win.

And you want him, and you need him.
But you act like he's not there.
Yeah, you know that you're hollow.
And something's missing here.
So you push and you pull the hole in your soul,
But you can't make the hunger disappear.

You'll Take Anything, Won't You.

I hate running.

Don't tell me how running is cathartic and helps to clear your mind, because i really do think the saying goes "sleep on it" rather than "run on it". It does nothing for me; no adrenaline burst or endorphin rush. All i get from the pounding of feet on pavement is a grand mal headache and an inability to speak coherently for the next few hours.

"We say goodbye, I turn my back.
Run away, run away. So predictable."

So why is it that when it comes to human relationships, all i do is run away?

The moment i decided not to cut him out my life, i found myself having nothing to say to him. The spontanienty is gone and the excitement is lacking. It shouldn't be that either of us has to try so hard to maintain the illusion of a friendship. The facade is cracked; it's broken and no amount of polish will restore the lustre it used to have. If two pieces of a jigshaw didn't fit, then you tell me how they fit as friends?

No, i don't think i'm being bitter or wallowing in self-pity. I'm just surprised that i just have nothing to say to him and yet there feels like there's much left unresolved. I've run away from the need for a confrontation or a heart-to-heart, either because i can't be bothered or i don't want to open up to him again. I'm running away from the friendship because he has become boring.

It struck me that for all of kj's claims of having and enjoying solitude, i might actually have beaten him at it. Such is my knack for burning my bridges. Brought a smile to my face, that thought.

Welcome to the life of hibye.